hippies and whatever

YESTERDAY I DID MY FIRST YOGA CLASS.

And let me just tell you 2 things:

1. I loved it!
2. OMG I AM SORE.

All athletes everywhere should do it. I feel like people think "what it's just like stretching for a hour pssh easy whatever bai" but NO. Wrong. It's like 1/4 stretching, relaxing, and breathing and 3/4 OMG WE'VE BEEN HOLDING OUR LEGS NEXT TO OUR HEAD FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES I CAN'T BALANCE ANYMORE i fell down.

Seriously. There were people that could freaking BALANCE on their HANDS with their knees like on their elbows????? WHAT? Also you kinda do a wallsit for like 15 minutes straight. Also the instructor will come over and say "soften" and then push you further into the "pose" (read: incredibly twisted position where your glute is DYING) and then you die.

In my opinion and experience, it's like relaxing really hard strength training. I don't really get it/can't explain it probably - but I felt relaxed at the same time my body was shaking. That whole breathing thing can really make you push yourself further. And I have a lot of tension in a lot of places, that I don't have time to stretch, so it looks like yoga 2x a week would be optimal for strength and flexibilty, right? And also it will make my shoulders hate themselves right before skiing today. Greatttt. hahahaha.

Well anyway I liked it a lot, I will continue doing it, and so I can only expect myself to turn into even more of a hippy than I already am. Hippy/mallgoth here I come yay.

xoxo, hshb,
candy
 

taking a break



This is how tired I was this weekend.



I couldn't come up with a single idea to blog about today, and I didn't even feel like looking at my favorite blogs.

Sometimes you just need a break.

After being stupidly emotional on Saturday, and being just plain BUSY (with stuff that's a secret right now!! shhhh WINK) yesterday, I've realized that a lot of the things I've been taught in life is to keep going. Persevere. Don't be a quitter. KEEP. GOING.

And that is not how I function.

I'm almost an erratic person, jumping from one thing to the next every minute or second. My energy has been spread a lot in my life, between school, music, sports (a lot of them), friends, an insane family, tests, government, baking & cooking, meetings, classes, fashion, writing, and all my stupid interests. And I somehow devote all of me, 100% to whatever I am doing. I've been expending a huge amount of energy my entire life, and I've just realized how I function, and I think I kind of understand why that is.

My ex-boyfriend asked me if I was bipolar. I'm not, and generally I feel really happy and upbeat like all of the time (party party woo!), but I can see why he'd ask that (and if you read my post Saturday you would too probably). I go and I go and I go and then I crash.

I take breaks.

I can't do something very intensive for too long. It's why I did different sports in high school, and it's why I would take summers off of my violin. And it's also why I legitimately could not force myself to work out yesterday. At some point, I. Need. A. Break.

And because I haven't actually, like, acknowledged that this is how I function, my psyche would just burn out and I'd be lazy or depressed or sad, because I'd also get tired of being excited and bubbly all the time. Sicknesses made this worse (like mono. Yeah.).

I think in the future I need to recognize when I'm running out of energy, and take a little time to myself to break the cycle and rejuvenate myself. It's not a big deal to be sad, but if you're taking a step back and looking at all your sad feelings that you "forget about" (read: push down) every day, you can feel that sadness and move on.
That's my plan for the near future, at least. And maybe some meditation?? I don't know, how much of a hippie am I?

xoxo, hshb,
candy

--just to clarify, i'm not taking a break from blogging (; just blogging about breaks hahaha lol break blog alliteration yes