guest post: 11 worst live televised performances of the past 15 years

[This post was compiled and written completely by my friend Connor, I am simply posting it here for your enjoyment! <3 The list goes from least-worst (11) to most-worst (1) with 1 honorable mention. Yay bad music]

11. Britney Spears VMA's 07.
Starting with an easy one. Really no explanation necessary.


10. Robin Thicke ft. Nicki Minaj. David Letterman.
Before Nicki was big, before Blurred Lines. There was this.


9. will.i.am - Bang Bang.
What needs to be said. A song from Great Gatsby and it was in black & white


8. Carrie Underwood - The Sound of Music.
Here for the non-singing parts, but it counts because it is that bad


7. Black Eyed Peas - Super Bowl Halftime show.
I blame Taboo.


6. Lana Del Rey. SNL.
So bad that she has tried to erase it from YouTube.
Lana Del Rey - Video Games (On SNL) (Live) (2012)



5. Mariah Carey, GMA
The dangers of live TV; the usefulness of tape delay for west coast


4. Kanye West, SNL, Love Lockdown
Woof


3. Kat Deluna, National Anthem
And met with a chorus of boos. Kat is still mounting her comeback.


2. Cassie, 106 & Park, Me & U
So bad that Diddy tried to wipe it from the Internet. Thankfully, he did not succeed.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WORST LIVE PERFORMANCE OF THE LAST 15 YEARS....
1. Ashlee Simpson - SNL/Orange Bowl 1-2 punch
How could Ashlee not be here?





(Honorable mention: Ciara - Away in a Manger)

[List written by Connor, his tweets are protected, but if you want some funniness in your life try and follow him anyway!]

to stare, to hear: cool shit of today

Click around the internet for five minutes, and I'll FOR SURE come across several things that I need to buy/love to listen to. I guess that's how it is being an angsty former-teenager living in a cynical bubble of her own discontent. Wait, did my goth-mentally just lose you? Don't worry I lost myself too.

Anyways, I've got 2 goodies to report on at 9am on this lovely cold morning 2 days before I return to the iced-over 9th circle that is Cambridge, MA. One to stare at, one to hear. I'm basically a poet.

To stare:

I'm obsessed with cocktails, you know, and I'm a tight-wearing fiend. They keep my legs warm when I wear over-the-top too-short dresses. And I was just clicking around when I got to House of Holland, went to the sale section AND FOUND THIS:

this is the one time i can tolerate martini glasses

You can find these beauties here, but unfortunately, they are SOLD OUT. Which is bullshit.They have a suit set in the same print, but it looks as if those are sold out as well. So I went hunting, but literally I could not find 1 thing printed with cocktails that wasn't sucky. Everything is so lame with cocktails printed on it, besides House of Holland pants/jeans/tights, but I'm not going to advertise the jeans or pants here because they come in very limited sizes, and I doubt I could get a pair of them that fit right. So for now, we'll simply have to stare at the site until these beauties are brought back. For the record, the site's kind of broken on my computer, so I'm iffy on the sizes of these tights too. The print is the focus here.

Cocktail-Printed Tights: £12.00 = $19.86
Which means you'd lay down probably $25 - $30 for those babes. Expensive, HoH, expensive but desirable.


To hear:

I'm a poser that's been trying to get into the "punk" scene I guess, led by TacocaT into Fat Creeps into reading Le Sigh and such. I don't know, a catchy-noisey sounding song with an apathetic or interesting-sounding woman's voice just gets me. I didn't even know I was listening to punk stuff until finding KLYAM. I'm so hardxcore I didn't even know it!




 I love the picture, love the lyrics, love the voice, and I love mollusks. So a win overall right here. Check out more of Baby Mollusk here.


moar updates from the punk scene l8r,
candy

i'm insane, here's my other "project"

My friend Andrew just left for 4 months in Australia, with no return flight to the US booked. I guess he's leaving forever because AU >> snow here, so a video was made for him as a general goodbye (sad feels all around). My other friend Kevin made the video (I have so many friends sorry if it gets confusing), and in it he put this little gem-and-a-half:



hot.

And this made me laugh very, very, very hard, so I ended up making this:

http://headsonanimals.tumblr.com

Which is now my side-project and will be added to my links sidebar. Get ready for a semester of MS Paint and not studying, MIT.


weeee,
candy
 

quick links monday

About to go cry on a treadmill for like an hour. Or whatever.

http://tacocatdotcom.com/

Tacocat is the newest thing I've found that I'm obsessed with. It goes hand in hand with Beach day. can't stop won't stop listening...why do the coolest bands have to be from across the country? I'll let you guys know the second I know if these guys go to Boston...or DC.

More info:
http://rookiemag.com/2014/01/crimson-wave-tacocat/
http://www.nylonmag.com/articles/lowell-cloud-69


http://www.wildfoxcouture.com/sweet-heart-cutie-shorts
Need this whole freaking outfit. I can't even...because Valentine's Day is coming up, and I'm totally going to be a bitter bitch through it, but some of the hearts say pizza so.

http://shop.nylonmag.com/collections/love-is-love/products/lolita-sunnies
&
http://h0les.bigcartel.com/product/h0les-pixel

Need glasses. I don't have a phone, I might as well be able to see however I want.

4 days, 23 hours, 3 minutes until I'm back in hell. I'd say wish me luck, but lbh tnh okai bai

Picture for extra credit

that one time i actually liked boston wow

 

#thrilliamsburg: quotes

1. I'm bored
• Leave.
• I never even liked you.
• You're welcome (:
2. booooooooooooooo
• jewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
3. MA
4. I don't even know what just happened, I blacked out
5. I'm incapable of working
6. She's the alpha.
7. This job sucks. I quit.
8. LET IT GO
9. -touches & shakes head, walks out-
10. He's just bitchy
11. I didn't even notice other people were there
12. I put chia seeds on your penis
13. SS
14. KK
15. This is it. Everyone I'm friends with is here
16. Someone actually got bounced
17. wowwwwww
18. I ruined that kid's life
19. Both hands off the wheel
20. I just kept pushing people
21. I've lost all touch with reality
22. I mean, I have a great personality.
23. -looks down-
24. Because Kate told me to.
25. Who could ever love him??
26. Well, when you make a green apple vodka bottle your best friend...
27. I offered it to them, but I really didn't want them to have it
28. I'm a bitter bitch
29. I'm a salty bitch
30. Sober Sally
31. Boring Bill
32. That's how I pictured Club 401 being.
33. Magic Bullet
34. I'm a high roller, my mom gave me money to spend this weekend
35. I have something to tell you!!!!
36. Is that a pancake? Why don't I have pancakes?
37. eating cheese in bed
38. They thought it was bugs.
39. Do you wanna play music from your phone
40. I like to make up things and then start drama
41. I've never met a margarita that I didn't like
42. Only the Good Lord knows...

short update

I'm exhausted form playing Sims 3 for like 3 days straight. Actually, 4. But whatever. Also I went to the dentist yesterday and I freaking have new sealants in my teeth and I hate them and I keep chewing on them.

I WILL update tonight with PICTURES from my Sims game! I've finally figured out how to be beast at the game after the last expansion came out. Yay lottery.

Anyways, I'm fat.

bai xox
candy

i'm sorry i'm so freaking boring

I have literally no ideas on what to blog about. I'm desparately trying to find new music groups (hopefully local ones that I can actually go see in Boston), I'm exercising and fitbit-ing and trying to lose weight yet not weighing myself, I don't know, I'm boring.

Hopefully I'll get to see the musical Kinky Boots this weekend and I can talk about that. Or wigs. I don't know man. Sorry my life is so boring. #thesims3

<3<3xoxo,hshb,
candy 

skiing recap: photos

Yeah this is how you're supposed to train to take on black diamonds for the first time #liquidcourage

And this is what happens when you do the above - notice the flat landscape? Did several black diamonds, no falls...flat area before the ski lift, I went down.

My partner in (ski) crime #club401

skiing trip recap in quotes

1. I'm not afraid. We're not afraid.
2. You KNOW what I just did.
3. Assert your dominance! I'm asserting my male dominance!!
4. *Tap Tap*
5. Hashtag Pray for Ke$ha Hashtag Club 4-O-1
6. Did you see that drunk bitch fall off of the lift???
7. We have a LOT to talk about.
8. This is it! I'm gonna die. Hahahahaha.
9. Let's talk about how steep that was, how narrow it was, and how icy it was.
10. I'm too far away to penetrate you.
11. Ski poles?
12. I'm going to pee my pants.
13. I lost a ski.
14. Sauna? ...yes.
15. Yeah, but she can be a drunk bitch.
16. Where's your ski boyfriend?
17. That was the most chiffondale thing I've ever seen.
18. You guys go first, cause I'm going to be retarded.
19. That was a gem and a half.
20. Killin' it Court!
21. GO GO GO GO GO
22. We're the drunk bitches.
23. Well, how could he not?
• At least they provide some cushioning
24. This lift is slow so we have time to do everything we need.
25. You passed me, and I was laughing, but I was also a little stimulated.
26. I knew it was you when you ran up the mountain.
27. I should've followed the skinny pants.
28. Club 401 started and ended with Becca.
• Party in 401.
29. Why are my pants so heavy?
30. I identify with this Windows 98 computer.
31. I'm so nervous.
32. Wanna be my slopes boyfriend?? -wink-
33. Big black WHAT??
34. I laughed so hard snot came out of my nose.
• It's hard to control bodily fluids
35. We're AT LEAST level 6.
36. Honestly I can't ever settle for less than Soaring Eagle now.
37. At least a few more bricks.
38. He's like Prince Charming.
39. My knee kinda hurts...let's keep skiing!
40. I ditched everyone down Moonshine.
41. Gandy Dancer! ~Candy Dancer! ~CANDY CRUSH!
42. "What nuclear discharge prevents all electronics in the area from working?"
• MY PERIOD

 

hippies and whatever

YESTERDAY I DID MY FIRST YOGA CLASS.

And let me just tell you 2 things:

1. I loved it!
2. OMG I AM SORE.

All athletes everywhere should do it. I feel like people think "what it's just like stretching for a hour pssh easy whatever bai" but NO. Wrong. It's like 1/4 stretching, relaxing, and breathing and 3/4 OMG WE'VE BEEN HOLDING OUR LEGS NEXT TO OUR HEAD FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES I CAN'T BALANCE ANYMORE i fell down.

Seriously. There were people that could freaking BALANCE on their HANDS with their knees like on their elbows????? WHAT? Also you kinda do a wallsit for like 15 minutes straight. Also the instructor will come over and say "soften" and then push you further into the "pose" (read: incredibly twisted position where your glute is DYING) and then you die.

In my opinion and experience, it's like relaxing really hard strength training. I don't really get it/can't explain it probably - but I felt relaxed at the same time my body was shaking. That whole breathing thing can really make you push yourself further. And I have a lot of tension in a lot of places, that I don't have time to stretch, so it looks like yoga 2x a week would be optimal for strength and flexibilty, right? And also it will make my shoulders hate themselves right before skiing today. Greatttt. hahahaha.

Well anyway I liked it a lot, I will continue doing it, and so I can only expect myself to turn into even more of a hippy than I already am. Hippy/mallgoth here I come yay.

xoxo, hshb,
candy
 

23 things you can do whether you're single, engaged, or married because honestly it shouldn't matter all that much for a bucket list (with links!)

1. Take a bubble bath and read a book about some cool things
2. Have dinner at a fancy restaurant by yourself, with a friend, or with a S.O.
3. Get wayyy too drunk (any time of the week) and wake up on your best friend's couch
4. Go on a run with somebody. Or by yourself.
5. SHOP.
6. Knit/crochet/bake/make things!!!
7. Try out a whole face full of new makeup
8. Go to a concert (I even go by myself - enjoy that music man!)
9. Make mix CD's that mean things to you
10. Write some poetry even if it sucks and have a best friend sing it to you (almost like starting a band)
11. Go to aquariums, museums, and on ghost tours
12. ROAD. TRIP.
13. Collect something.
14. Go to/organize LGBTQIA rallies & support groups
15. Wear high-heels out all day without changing
16. Spray paint something!! (it could be something that you own, you sissies)
17. Make a silly music video. Or a serious one.
18. Have brunch because you can and because it's fun
19. Go to bartending school, or just make up your own cocktail and serve it to your friends
20. Cover yourself in fake tattoos and try to pass them off as real!
21. Do something you're horrible at for more than 30 minutes (tennis for me lolol)
22. Roll your eyes. A lot!
23. Throw a party. It's hard work you guys! And clean up afterwards. And don't be worried if somebody breaks a pickle jar.

finally: PLAYLIST format!

best of 2013 from CANDYKAPPERS on 8tracks Radio.

let's just be honest

Ok, the reason I didn't post anything yesterday on my day off on the couch, is because I was too busy dying and stuffing myself with McDonalds. Because the night before was magical and perfect and made me gain a couple pounds but honestly I'm not weighing myself until Saturday so everybody can just lay off.

Snapchat sent to me by the girl next to me. Also +1 for pimp hats

 

Whenever a night ends with you next to 2 of your best friends in the whole world in a comfy bed, drinking champagne straight out of a bottle and gossiping about your love lives, you're doing something right. I beat myself up everyday about the weight I've gained over the past year, and my bad decisions, and weird stuff that has happened in context of relationships, and my lack-of-dedication to my grades...but I can't be unhappy, because with friends like the ones I have, there is always something to celebrate and talk about.

So my challenge to you (and myself) is for next New Years' Eve: this time, actually save some champagne for mimosas the next morning, instead of hiding it then finding it then drinking all of it. Or maybe not - maybe just put on the sparkly dress again and head out to brunch, because you can't afford to miss out on just that much more fun.

♥~one night of fun is better than none~♥

xoxo, hshb,
candy