This is going to be on the serious side guys, no funny Candice tonight. Not even a funny picture. OK, maybe one at the end.
As I'm writing this, I'm laying on the most comfortable mattress in the world, staring at the most beautiful sea in the world, and feeling pretty much the worst I've felt in weeks. I have so much regret about mistakes I've made, wrong things I've done, secrets I've made & told. It's so weird, because recently I felt like I finally came to terms with some of the darkness in my life, and I'm sticking to that. I'm a person - I have flaws, and I kind of love those flaws, and I don't want to change them anymore. And I especially don't want a guy who would try or want to change them.
When I love (whether it's my family, friends, or otherwise), I love fully. I know your flaws, and I love your flaws, and I love you. I don't want to change you, because then you wouldn't be the person that I love anymore. Just be you, and do you, and as long as you don't step on my toes (figuratively...and literally), we're going to be just fine. We'll make it through this crazy life together.
That's finally how I'm feeling about myself, but I'm having problems letting go of my past mistakes at the moment. It's just hard to remember how things exactly happened, and it's killing me. The oceanic setting here is giving me some peace and time to think over things, and I've realized that I really need to let some bad things go.
So, my next project is...confession. Yeah, that's right, in a real Catholic church with real Catholics and a priest and stuff. Jealous??????
I think then I can give some of my sadness a huge sigh of relief. [Yes I do believe in God, Jesus, Catholicism, and confession. Surprised? You're welcome.**] There's something that's just cathartic about telling someone with authority your bad things, and having them tell you officially that it's ok, The Big Guy forgives you, and we all make mistakes. So I'm going to test it out in a few weeks - until then, I'm giving bad things the back file space in my brain.
I'll update you on if it works - if it doesn't, expect a couple posts on "How to Block Out Memories."
xoxo, hshb [maybe not??],
candy
**FUNNY PICTURE TIME TO LIGHTEN THINGS UP
As I'm writing this, I'm laying on the most comfortable mattress in the world, staring at the most beautiful sea in the world, and feeling pretty much the worst I've felt in weeks. I have so much regret about mistakes I've made, wrong things I've done, secrets I've made & told. It's so weird, because recently I felt like I finally came to terms with some of the darkness in my life, and I'm sticking to that. I'm a person - I have flaws, and I kind of love those flaws, and I don't want to change them anymore. And I especially don't want a guy who would try or want to change them.
When I love (whether it's my family, friends, or otherwise), I love fully. I know your flaws, and I love your flaws, and I love you. I don't want to change you, because then you wouldn't be the person that I love anymore. Just be you, and do you, and as long as you don't step on my toes (figuratively...and literally), we're going to be just fine. We'll make it through this crazy life together.
That's finally how I'm feeling about myself, but I'm having problems letting go of my past mistakes at the moment. It's just hard to remember how things exactly happened, and it's killing me. The oceanic setting here is giving me some peace and time to think over things, and I've realized that I really need to let some bad things go.
So, my next project is...confession. Yeah, that's right, in a real Catholic church with real Catholics and a priest and stuff. Jealous??????
I think then I can give some of my sadness a huge sigh of relief. [Yes I do believe in God, Jesus, Catholicism, and confession. Surprised? You're welcome.**] There's something that's just cathartic about telling someone with authority your bad things, and having them tell you officially that it's ok, The Big Guy forgives you, and we all make mistakes. So I'm going to test it out in a few weeks - until then, I'm giving bad things the back file space in my brain.
I'll update you on if it works - if it doesn't, expect a couple posts on "How to Block Out Memories."
xoxo, hshb [maybe not??],
candy
**FUNNY PICTURE TIME TO LIGHTEN THINGS UP
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| #swaginmyrobe |
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